GADS – Gay Dads

(Community Matters) a note I wrote in response to an email chain among national LGBT philanthropists, activists and bloggers:

Re: ACT UP – let’s not underestimate their value. It was* tremendous, critical, life-saving . . . much beyond their numbers.

Were it not for their “extreme” positions and demonstrations, those of us who were tasked with negotiating public financial support, services & research for people living with AIDS/HIV would NOT have achieved the successes we achieved in the 90s. In Austin, we didn’t have an ACT UP chapter. Friends and I had to create one when local elected officials began seeing our moderate proposals as radical.

Yes . . . of course I see the parallels with some of today’s most vocal protesters. There’s a nuance, however, centered around what we communicate to our supporters and toward whom/what we direct their anger. I’m not sure whether or not there are meaningful differences in the egos of our leaders, though Larry Kramer seemed to have more pride in our community than in himself.

<<But because the vast majority of us choose not to participate>>

It’s to the credit of many on this list (and too many no longer with us) that members of the LGB community don’t feel the same immediate threat that motivated mobilization in the 80s and 90s. I intentionally leave out T as I sense a greater threat in the transgender community. Someone earlier this year wondered aloud if our community would have much in common to motivate us once equality is achieved, or whether we’d gravitate to our other political identities – race, religion, socio-economics, etc.

Steven and I are hosting our 21yo nephew** (as well as a 19-yo straight niece) this summer. The nephew is a very bright, newly out, incoming college senior. He seems more motivated by injustice to others and to assume his equality is just around the corner. He’s from rural Oklahoma, and he’s spending a summer in Austin where he’s experiencing privilege and access without regard to his, or our, sexual orientation. Frankly, we’re focusing him on building his own skills, resume and experience so he can become a substantial contributor and leader in the communities with which he chooses to identify.

Brian, you remind me Brent also needs to understand he owes forward for the gains others have won him. He should be ready to participate in civil disobedience to protect equalities gained and to demand our remaining rights. During the 60s, 70s and 80s it took sustained, courageous support to effect state implementation of the 1964 federal gains. So, even after ENDA, the repeal of DOMA and erasing all federal biases, we’ll need to motivate our communities to demand state action.

 *In reply, I was reminded that ACT UP still exists and advocates for PWAs

**I did write nephew but he’s really a cousin. I often get this confused, probably because of the age difference and our affection for him – he calls us his gads (gay dads)

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